Mr Black
by MostDefinitelyNotABot
Summary: When happens when an author who is definitely not a bot writes a story?


After making a quick stop at the Room of Requirements to pick up Ravenclaw's Diadem, Harry stuck out to the Shrieking Shack to meet Sirius.

"Womtail's back?" Sirius cut right to the chase.

Harry nodded. "I have a strong preference for your life, over your death, Professor Quirrell."

There was a moment of held breath.

Then the seven Sunshine Soldiers swam up to join Dragon Army.

There was a triumphant cheer from Dragon Army.

There were cries of dismay from a third of the magical knowledge."

"Really?" Harry had heard his

uncle talk about negotiations enough to know that you care."

"Potter, Malfoy, follow me, now," McGonagall instructed.

First, McGonagall led them to the dungeons, where Snape was teaching 6th year potions. Against all odds, the Slytherin Captain, Marcus Flint (who ended up having to repeat his seventh year, unless Harry was very much mistaken, the 'he' they were referring to was the Bloody Baron. Now, he probably shouldn't divulge this, seeing as how it was obviously something they wanted to keep private, but then again, he was only eleven and, knowing Molly Weasley, living the most sheltered life imaginable. "Are all your family wizards?" Harry asked, quickly changing the subject.

"Er – yes, I think so," said Ron. "I think Mum's got a second cousin who's an accountant, but we never talk about him."

Harry froze. He couldn't believe he'd never realized that the first time around, but to be fair, he was only a child at the time. "Why not?"

Once they got off the train and lined up to go through the Veil – so he wasn't about to start monologuing again. He had been too traumatized last time to say anything, but he really didn't like his Potions Professor and so saying nice things about him made him nauseous. Petty, perhaps, but Snape was worse.

The best thing to do would be to start a counter curse and hope that his and Snape's combined efforts would be enough to steer through Time's narrow keyhole...

He had to grow up, somehow, and there was no way he could have untangled himself and moved over there that fast without Harry noticing. It was as if he'd been a truer friend to her than she'd ever been in Professional Quidditch."

"And you found out about her

accident." Minerva closed her eyes, "and I was told that you could help me with my quidditch play, I heard most of what you said earlier but…" Tristan said hopefully.

"Oh, I mean, yes, your books detail the adventures of you dealing with Yeti, Werewolves, Vampires, and several other assortments of magical creatures but…that all seems to be besides the point, isn't it? Just think, if I don't then God knows your godfather will probably spend the time taking you to the kitchens or Hogsmeade or something."

"True," Harry acknowledged. "Sometimes, maybe even most times. But I won't follow pointless rules. If I feel that something has been put in place for my own protection, then yes, chances are I'll follow it. No promises, though. And I won't purposely endanger any fellow students. Occasionally, I may do something stupid like this. I probably shouldn't, but then again, it was right after the fall of Voldemort and he felt like he had a moral obligation to help round up all of his followers. Maybe this time, if he could end the war quicker or (if he was sufficiently brilliant/lucky) prevent it from taking place at all. Then he could play all the professional Quidditch he wanted before he reached thirty or so and had to retire (to become an Auror). Come to think of it, it was a little strange how he kept getting it wrong before, since he clearly knew who Arthur was and you couldn't really miss that the two were related.

"Why, Barty," Bagman said with a grin. "It's your chocolate frog card."

"Or rather Mr. Black's chocolate frog card," Fred added.

"Alright," Remus looked a little surprised, but signed the parchment he was given.

"Why do you put up with him?" Hermione asked Harry once he returned his attention to the room around him, eyes peering past wards and masking magic as if they weren't going to volunteer the information.

"Mad-Eye's eye!" George said.

Moody stood suddenly. "My what?"

"Your magical eye!" Fred said brightly. "We thought you'd lost it, and it turns out that the murderer had black hair, and Mortimer has black hair, so everyone's like, ah, looks like Mortimer did it after all. So it's unfair to Mortimer for the police to promote him to their attention without having good reasons already in hand to suspect him. When there are lots of crackpot theories about you."

The boy's hands were clenched into fists so tightly that the nails cut into his palm, if his fingers were white or his face was pale you couldn't have seen that, for the dim blue light cast all into ice or shadow. "You once offered to support me if my ambition were to be the next Dark Lord would take you to be his bride!"

Slowly, and with considerable disbelief, heads turned to stare at Dumbledore.

Dumbledore winked at him.

Minerva felt she was missing something.

Sudden uncertainty crossed Harry's face. His coolness wavered. Fear showed in his eyes, then anger, and then the boy was calm again.

A chill went down Minerva's spine. Something was not right here.

"Please sit down," said Dumbledore. His eyes gazed intently into Harry's. "Otherwise I cannot tell you."

"Yes," said the boy. He closed his eyes, turned away and left. Harry sat down on a chair that materialized out of smoke and shadow just in time to see a tabby cat turn back into their Professor.

McGonagall smiled at the applause but then her eyes narrowed. "That's strange…"

"What's strange, Professor?" Hermione asked.

"Because by this time tomorrow, the Daily Prophet AND Witch Weekly will have probably run a story on how Draco Malfoy is Narcissa Malfoy and Severus Snape's love child," Harry told her. "No one really needs Hogwarts: A History and now that so many people are buying it, the waiting list in the library should be much more reasonable for those that can't afford it. The mirror is essential but lots of people possess hand-held mirrors and just bought one from me because they are trademark Harry Potter Mirrors and for those that don't remember, Slappy was the chimp that

was known to use accidental magic to change the color of his . . .

droppings.

AN: I posted chapter 8 in

past lives here by mistake, sorry about that it was late at night and

I was tired. Lucky thing I caught myself after it went up and I

didn't have a lot of fun last year. I want to have fun this year and every year for the rest of your life in the past. In my case, I also have the benefit of knowing that Salazar Slytherin is an established person so even if no such person were to exist, I wouldn't choose that as a pseudonym. In fact, seeing as how it was obviously something they wanted to keep private, but then again, she'd only been really introduced to the Wizarding World two weeks ago, so perhaps she hadn't gotten a chance to say it.

They'd fought in the forest, and he hadn't even realized but…Lockhart was joking. He didn't actually think that a smiling competition was more fame-worthy than mysteriously vanishing Voldemort. Maybe he wasn't such an idiot after all. Granted, he was still practically a Squib, too self-centered to pay attention to the food you ate, to notice yourself eating it, so that you were satisfied with the meal. This morning she'd made herself toast, and put butter on the toast, and cinnamon on the butter, and it really should've been enough to get her to notice, this time, the goodness that was in front of him, spreading blood and gore.

Harry looked around and finally saw no real threats left. He vanished his cloak, armor and scythe away to their storing case and walked calmly toward the great door. He sent a few spider-killer rays, and told the snakes all around that they'd better get out of here and to someone who can use healing Charms," Harry said. "Like Mr. Hagrid, who you'll note I argued should not be considered malicious, just oblivious. I was fine with Mr. Hagrid working here so long as he got some sort of pattern."

"Could it be that

we were just looking in the wrong place?" Luna asked innocently,

"remember, sometimes the simple answerers are the correct ones."

"It's possible,"

Laetus admitted, "but I think the situation might be a bit more

complicated then it first appears."

"Well, we both know that neither one of us is pretending to be a scientist" three times before Draco had understood.

In that moment Draco had realized that there was only one prohibited place in Hogwarts that fit.

And so Harry set forth on that outlawed path where, if rumor spoke true, all the first-year students turned in mostly blank parchments then it stood to reason that you could get exactly the same work back out. Harry had tried to say something about the Headmaster's usual plotting going much too far, and I had to interrupt at that point and explain that it had been an obvious sort of guess - that didn't change anything.

So now, for the first time in his life, he was entitled to a bit of beauty.

Besides, it wasn't like he was going to have an interesting year," Bill defended. "I might even get some recognition for our amazing flying."

Draco perked up a bit at this.

"-how dare you-might have broken your neck-"

"Well, unless it killed me instantly, I'm sure that I am, thus implying that I don't still believe that the boy ought to be checked on, but I know full well that they're the same plant. Although why they go by two different names, well, three if you count aconite, is beyond me."

"I suppose you have a point," Parvati said grudgingly. "But on the other hand, was going to die.

"I wonder why Harry never tried that."

"She thinks Harry's made of glass

and she doesn't like that cologne he sometimes wears… Anyway she slapped him so hard he nearly fell off the couch. Teddy and Hermione just stared at him.

Draco had finally calmed down after they came back with Teddy dressed in his pajamas.

"You feeling better?" Hermione asked highly amused after seeing Draco make a spectacle of himself.

"Very."

Hermione gave a small smile as she shook her head at Anna before opening the door to her office.

"Merlin, you do look like a bag lady. No wonder Weasley dumped you for Sadie."

Hermione jumped up in shock and almost screamed until she recognized the voice. Even though it had been years since she last talked to him, she could still remember his voice. The aristocratic sound that many vied to achieve yet it came so naturally to him.

"Malfoy, what are you doing here?"

"I think the hardest thing would

be be a tricky bit of spell work to make the flask recognize the

potion that you filled it with but it shouldn't be a problem after

that," Henchgirl said. "We might be able to solve it for you."

"Not yet Mr.

Lovegood," the postman agreed through pursed lips, "my job is a

bit to complicated to give to a trained animal."

"Well give it time,"

Laetus Lovegood replied sympathetically, "I'm sure you'll get in there," Harry assured him, feeling a little bit guilty for messing with them. Not very, because Draco usually had anything Harry felt the need to curse it.

Filch turned to Harry. "They're asking for you."

Harry nodded solemnly. "Right. I have to go to make sure you get visited more often."

"You . . . you're alive?"

Spencer's eyes were the size of basketball hoops when he saw Harry's

return, "I was just surprised that you didn't lose your touch…" Albus finished with a wink.

Sirius let out a barking laugh and transformed back, bouncing around Harry like a puppy. Harry felt the castle would be even warmer this holiday, now that he had all the time in the world.

And it had been bearable. He'd learned to live—sort of—with the fact that he had volunteered to go after Mr. Black,

to 'teach him a lesson.'

"He

walked into this bar, sat next to me, and told me how things were

going to be." The old man smiled, despite the fact that it's spring."

"How would you know that? We haven't been properly introduced, have we? I'm Cedric Diggory," he said, sticking his hand out.

"Harry Potter," Harry told her. "No one really needs Hogwarts: A History and now that so many people are buying it, the waiting list in the library should be much more reasonable for those that can't afford it. The mirror is essential but lots of people possess hand-held

"I see," Harry said. "Because I recognized her as though to himself. "I know you are being sent back to normal.

"We're in a good light. "You have a wand in hand, he had the last time I ever been Obliviated? Did you Sort the Dark Lord when he was a child and can you tell me about his weaknesses? Can you tell me why you didn't have to be a Dark Lord. And I know that you're here. After future-Harry had never seen before from someone who thought he was the one who had to try to teach you how to be a child. Only the two girls landed and began to flip through it.

After a while, just because he didn't think he'd have to wait a few minutes later, a burning sensation in his throat and

he would have to be the

mysterious Mr. Black. "We were hoping that you could help me find a way to fix that. The voice that spoke sounded perfectly, it was quite a bit of money," said Padma. Her lips were moving forward anyway. And if you see me."

"I suppose," Harry agreed.

"POTTER!" Snape's voice jolted him out of his chair, his censors are off to one side of the family and they were all so very, very wide. "Does it have to come with me, but they also believe that one of the Weasley twins and Harry in particular that got you a good guy."

More conversation was going to die. I'm so sorry."

"Oh I don't know the spell for changing a teacup into a book on the end of his Fourth Year, it was one of the three Deathly Hallows and reputed to hide his magic around him were saying, 'I, Professor Quirrell had said, "but I don't think I can do that. You have to learn to be a good thing for you personally. There isn't a good sign.

"This is just a stick?"

"Satisfying massive groups of

veela?"

"My name is Hans Ritter,

I'm going to need to study for our OWLS. Where are you going?" Ron asked.

"Are you really?" Harry asked with a small strongbox put there by the time we have a good day."

"You as well Mr. Black," the

Agent smiled. "You're the best of my knowledge, there are two of you have in mind?"

"Work detail," Brandy bit her lip.

"And your date isn't it?"

"Yes! I don't exactly planned this as soon as he got back. She was shaking as the Sun going out to touch the Portkey without you and see what happens."

"So you hope to cure Neville of Chaos. "Here's my fault that this had been a lot easier to just forget them, just in case.

And Harry's eyes were very serious. "You cannot possibly get past all of Azkaban's prisoners to safety and that's why you want more aerial coverage on this (which, given cloaks and spells it has a magical plant or animal. What magic can tell you that I will be allowed to live. Now drop your wand so that I can always be able to reach for safety; always they imagine that it is wiser to listen to the side, the war and some of the students asked, Remus Lupin had thought.

Maybe she was a witch marries a Squib?" Harry asked.

"I have a House Elf named Dobby?"

Draco said nothing to do with the fact that we have a good day."

"You as well Mr. Black," the Professor smiled. "We have to keep moving, though they might actually be easier to cast powerful spells is being lost.4. Wizards are eating the wrong foods as children, or something else besides blood is making them grow up weaker.5. Muggle technology is interfering with magic. (Since 800 years ago?)6. Stronger wizards are having fewer children. (Draco = only child? Check if 3 powerful wizards, Quirrell / Dumbledore / Dark Lord, had any children.)

Tests:

"All right," Harry said. He looked down at his shoes.

"Hey Harry!" she said. "The rest of your team anything and I think the more people than they

looked," the driver

nodded. "But it's not really all that great. People were already there -"

"If Voldie finds out, the changing of the movie, but I'm v-very excited," Quirrell said, his voice now a Giant." Hermione said as she checked his notes, "the houses and the boy in question – I'm Hermione Granger was intelligent, someone who had not been a lot easier to cast the spell for that I had to do it, and they were many. And if you see something you don't understand me completely?"

Harry shook his head ruefully. "Well then you would tear apart the very verge of death eaters that say they understand but really cool. But you could turn back but he wasn't looking at the stars, and wherever that path leads, that had been a lie, I just have to wait until he was halfway to the musical are intentional.

He's never hurt a student, and the other teachers sharing his confusion for once. "And he acts far more than enough to realize that he was an accident. He put his hands on the subject, especially not whether Granger would be a huge inferiority complex that Harry had not been there to be any use to write it. Having someone you are too closely related to date.'"

"I mean," Harry said, because I don't want to leave you alone for a change. The other 'subjects', the Defense Professor had said, "just go get some sleep,"

Henchgirl nodded. "I have a report by George and Lee Jordan was saying, 'You can't go in there for three months by telling me what the wizarding world on the balls of her feet and sent him a couple gillyweed plants. Not just repaired." Harry searched for a moment as he took his leave.

"I need to be here as well as a house elf and a white line. She would have words with Voldemort, I suppose it is barely possible that he would be willing to help us with a smile that she couldn't see it.

"Oh my god, you're quite perceptive; most people are just a little, but...

"What's this?" he asked tiredly. "I like your father does?"

"The twins stared at him, and Harry had quickly interrupted and it started to say.

"Well,"

the Professor waved off his head and looked at them all, he was only a baby. Yeh look a little while to cut me some books

on Dragons over there and it had not been a lie.

But they were just in the past and future friends. "How did you know that the man knew how to summon the Great Pumpkin, Cedric Diggory was telling the truth -

Then her eyes for a moment. "And that will be... five points? No, let us make it an even ten points from Ravenclaw for backchat."

Hermione sighed. "I don't know how he knew…

"So, Mr. Malfoy, is as if there was some way to do it."

"I understand," Harry said. He looked down at the article. "That will do everything in the top ten and we do not say such things to you at once -"

"I was just talking with Ron and Hermione were still on his face.

"It is time to study the interrogator whipped out his wand, a young woman with a shrug. "I don't know for sure that you carry

but in another, their bright young face looked very much like Hermione…"

Draco giggled. "Mr. Potter, if you could call them that.

"I think I understand," Henchgirl

nodded. "Let's get back to the House Elves into sending up food for our next latest invention."

The Defense Professor laughed. "Well . . . " Luna focused on a small rat limping off the couch behind him, and Harry was suddenly very much of a loss of his head, but let's not going to be seeing you all. And it is a Deathly Hallow. But you are our textbooks. Of course, Harry had thought, Charms and Potions every year for once, and I shall be happy to help."

"You could always watch the other side of the room, "I think I've managed to annoy me, I think I remember you as Headmaster instead. There, that if the three of you want to have to use a bloody owl no matter how much I missed you so sure he'd manage when Ron quieted down after that...

But the Dark Lord's ghost bound to my scar and is that why I get so angry sometimes? Those are the most important questions, but if you've got another moment can you tell me what happened?"

"I was hoping to visit?"

"I'm sure you do; you are most in the shadowy figure shook his head. "I'm heading to stop him from the chair and began to write.

"Okay here are just so you know," Harry said quietly, "and this is Petunia and our son Harry. The food's in the magical trunk," said Harry. "Do you know how I can help you with?"

"Professor Quirrell," said Mr. Lupin, you know I didn't mean to offend you." Hermione began.

"It is a catastrophe that you are an idiot."

"Don't you mean 'you better hope you enjoyed this story is winding down. "I mean, I know it's called the Boy-Who-Lived, "when boys and girls go to the Yule Ball with me?" Draco asked.

"Well…" Harry said, shaking his head in despair, "tell me about your father, and I shall show this mortal. You would have to be the

mysterious Mr. Black. "We could give the impression that I am up to no good."

"Still," Harry said to the empty classroom behind them.

"Harry -" the old wizard began.

"Then perhaps Ron should not be heroes. If you were going to do the same thing."

"Damn it, thanks for asking. Was there any way of doing that as a compliment." Hermione whispered.

Draco bit his lip. " Luna said softly.

"I'd like to see what you got your school work. You're the one who had to remind himself that was magic most grownups couldn't work like that. Maybe just never understood why that was why it was hard to see how the hell is Fluffy?" Draco's voice came from behind him. "But she won't be able to stop his mind from giving the class just laughed, and Death would have to fight someone very evil grin,

"sometimes I felt like as if it could be that he had never seen or detected by any known

magical effects or abilities."

"Thanks," Harry nodded. "But you have to hear the

response. "I'm sorry if that's what you want."

Hans

walked slowly into the wall with crayon."

"Oh," the woman nodded.

"It gets better," said Professor Quirrell, and he's the by-product!" Fred said. "He hasn't actually true. In case you haven't noticed, you're right," Ron pointed out.

"True," Harry acknowledged. "Sometimes, maybe even a little better now. I'll get back to you first found out, get out of a book on gardening which he had been reading.

At long last, Dumbledore didn't want to be in the same instant that they might have even been in the middle of the street and to the left of Hermione Granger. "It's

a man in a single day. He went to a different kind of thing, and should be able to see all the things he knows the best part is that what you did today was the name of that would lead to a stop in front of an actual Dementor after they stopped the battle, he's going to be a long time to time.

"Why can't I just do whatever I feel like I should, but it wasn't enough. Books are overflowing onto the tables and the sofas and making little heaps under the windows.

"Ron was alluding to the old wizard, "I do have one last look around, and he had to remind himself over and over again, "I was going to let him know that he is merely ridiculous. So Mote Be."

"What the hell does that have to do with-"

"Hah," Henchgirl answered smugly. "You would have been a thousand Galleons for Christmas presents, wrap them up to his reputation as a symbol of the Light, never mind how he'd gotten it. He would absolutely, positively, no matter how long it took and even if it killed him, fulfill their expectations. And then go on to exceed those expectations, so that people wondered, looking back, that they had once asked so little of him.

"I feel obligated to b happy."

"Then

what makes you think that I'm not going to be easy

defensible." Henchgirl said with a massive tattoo of the room, ignoring his spazzing friends in front of his desk. It should have been obvious even to you. And the last place Harry figured


End file.
